Friday, 18 May 2012

Mixed feelings

Today Tara was bit sad. Her classmate is leaving school as her parents are moving away, and Tara was told she was never coming back. I reassured her with a bit of logic and a bit of philosophy. At the end of it she nodded but declared that she was okay at her school and never wanted to leave..."Till forever."

The Husband is coming back for the weekend tonight. A few minutes ago we spoke on the phone, and he said there was a good chance of a permanent position where he is. I should be grateful at the prospect. Instead if I am completely honest, I feel nervous and confused. I like to believe that events unfold according to how we visualize them. so I'm also worried that my lack of gratitude may disallow the new job to come to us in the first place.

People say that children surprise you with their resilience, especially at this age. I will admit Tara has surprised me on many things before. What I cannot forget is the first few months of sheer trauma she went through to adjust to big girl's school. Am I reading too much into it? Maybe I am. Can I pretend I don't feel bewildered and confused today? I cannot. I will try tomorrow. Pretending is good for situations like this.

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