Saturday, 28 February 2015

Hair today, gone tomorrow

9th of July, a day before I flew on a long summer holiday, I went to a salon. Now Im not normally a salon person. I have basic, fuss free hair that I keep clean and that's about it. On this fateful day I was in possession of a voucher that gave me a "relaxing" shampoo-blow dry for free at my local salon.

Why not I thought. I was packed and ready to fly the next day and a bit of pampering sounded like a good idea. I had no idea what to expect as I hadn't been to a salon in years..After the appointment was done I came home, sorted out the rest of the work, and went to sleep.

The next morning when I woke up, I noticed some black powdery substance on my pillow and full length strands of hair, (from the roots) strewn about. I had to get to the airport so distractedly got on with things. The next day when I reached my destination and settled into a warm oil scalp massage, I was told I had a bald patch on my scalp. I couldn't believe it. The next few minutes were like a bad horror film. Long bunches of hair fell about me, from the roots, as if they were not attached to my head. I could do nothing but watch this phenomenon continue for the next few weeks, till half the hair on my head fell off and I was left with a bald patch at the top of my head and scalp that could be seen through my remaining hair.

It continued to fall even after I returned back home.

I had been to a doctor abroad and a few sympathetic older ladies gave me some ideas as to what could be done. Neither actually knew what was wrong. Opinions ranged from Stress, alopecia, and a possible first degree scalp burn. The last one seemed most likely as I had been to the salon just before flying.

Now the full extent of my feelings on my scalp were not fully expressed as I had other issues erupt simultaneously. Maybe these helped me cope with the hair fall better than I would have. Hidden blessing in disguise?

A few days after the bald spot appeared I had a massive accident that saw me almost break my elbow and fingers, along with deep injuries to my knee, shoulder and arms, accompanied by extremely large black and blue bruises. The pain was excruciating and I went to a hospital for injections and cleaning. The pain of these injuries lasted for the next few months.

Soon after Tara contracted a bug so wouldn't stop her vomiting and had diarrhoea for days. She wouldn't eat anything or hold down water for long. I took her to the doctor and had to look after her day and night with my horrific injuries.

In between all this I had a visit to the dentist for a mysterious pain I had in my  jaw/tooth area. I had this pain even while I was at home for almost a year. My dentist here took X-rays and found nothing. So I had an appointment with a top dental specialist abroad for a second opinion. His X-rays found nothing either. He sent to me a general practitioner who suspected something more sinister and recommended I go inside an MRI machine! A possible nerve disorder? My bruised body shuddered..Some of my open wounds unfortunately got infected. Back to the hospital. A few more injections.

My brain was in the strangest state. I couldn't find one part of my body that didn't feel pain at the moment. Even my scalp had joined the part and I was getting extreme headaches and unbelievable itching now, as hair fell and fell and fell...I was astonished that I still had some hair to how after masses had fallen. How was that possible??

The bald patch was soon forgotten...for now. It had to wait its turn in my long list of worry inducing situations.

Oddly I didn't cry. I think what I was dealing with was beyond crying and my body was in survival mode. I had to look after Tara first and the luxury of crying over myself was not an option. She had lost all the little weight she had and looked terrifying. Luckily she was rid of the bug. I couldn't wait to fly back home. I did and zombie like tried to pull myself together.

The next few days I focused every ounce of my body getting Tara back on track. She did and went to school when it opened.

I got in the shower, hands trembling as I tried to gently wash my hair. I heard a loud wail in the cubicle. It emerged eerily as hair fell away..just like that. Stop! Stop! I shouted alone and crumpled into a heap in the shower as the healing skin stretched and tore on my arms and knees. I cried as water ran over me. I felt broken in every way.

As I stood up wobbling with the pain. I barely dabbed myself with a towel and dressed myself up.

September was drawing to a close..Now what?

Wednesday, 25 February 2015


July 9th 2014 started a series of health issues that left my mind and body in a whirl. I carried these issues with me and attempted to be "Mum" to Tara to the best of my abilities. I was okay most of the time, and let my "issues" make me be less than a satisfactory Mum on other days.

The odd thing is that while these issues (some now improved) trudge alongside me every day, I haven't had a major shout for almost a month now. I wonder why...I'm happy about it, but would love to know why so I can do whatever it takes to have the no-shout spell continue. The one thing that probably helped is mindfulness. I had been reading about being aware of oneself in any given moment. Could that be it? 

Wednesday, 18 February 2015

Misplaced anger

After a bit of introspection, I figure that anger that sometimes erupts on Tara is misplaced anger. It stems from some other annoyance or frustration that has been simmering within, and manifests itself at the slightest provocation from a small child.

That makes me my eyes :-(

Tara is seven years old. She holds a licence for saying or doing silly things sometimes. I am the adult who needs to let things slide, teach or take the higher ground.There are times when Tara needs the sharp side of my tongue purely for safety reasons. Like running across a road suddenly or wandering off in crowded places. But on other occasions, often due to unresolved issues with The Husband, the hail of words falls on Tara.

At seven years old, Tara has learnt how to needle me sometimes, almost as if she's looking for trouble. She may pick the wrong day or time, as the back story of my life ambles alongside my life as Mum. Still, its down to me how to handle it not her.

There..theory done, now to try to put in practice what I know....again.

Thursday, 12 February 2015

Bird Poo is not lucky

After careful scientific study, and a scratch card and lottery ticket purchase later I have concluded that bird poo - on or off you - means nothing. A dirty coat perhaps..but nothing more.

Tara has a slightly different take on the matter. She feels that my research is flawed as I had wiped off the poo in the car BEFORE purchasing the tottery ticket. Had I not wiped it off, we could have been sipping drinks on a sunny island somewhere.

Life and lost opportunities...never mind.

Wednesday, 11 February 2015

Lucky Poo?

As I walked back to my car with some other Mums dropping Tara at school, I had an encounter with a "dropping" of another kind.

It came from above, missed three other Mums and landed  - splat - all over my coat. I stopped in shock. I have never had a bird poo on me before, and my word.. this bird had eaten well the evening before. The sleeve, the front and the scarf were plastered in yellow-green streaks. We all laughed about it. I thought I could laugh along only because it fell on my coat. Im not sure how I would feel had it fallen on my head...

As I reached my car, one lady said, it was good luck to have bird-poo fall on you. Really? I didn't feel lucky as I reached for a third tissue to mop off the offending stuff from my coat. Driving home I decided to test the theory today, and bought a lottery ticket for tonight...and two scratch cards.

Both scratch cards came up with nothing. Hmmmph! Im not exactly holding my breath for tonight either, so bird sanctuaries needn't get their hopes up yet.

Monday, 2 February 2015

Update - Success for the disillusioned Mum

I waited outside the GP's office with Tara. It's been a long three weeks of using a most unpleasant device. I'm a bit on edge, hopeful, cautious and a whole lot of other things. Most of all I'm a Mum who just wants her long suffering child to have a bit of relief.

For that relief I promise all the unseen forces my gratitude, the GP-my forgiveness and The Husband-not a single smug I-told-you-so. I am well rewarded. After a careful examination I hear the GP say the words,"The left one is normal and the right has most of the fluid gone... Just very little, the level we consider normal."

I felt so good....

I used Otovent for Tara's glue ear. I researched, I collected information, I spoke to the Head Office in Sweden, I watched numerous videos, I convinced Tara to give it a try and made it an entertaining game etc. etc. Three times a day without a complaint my little girl blew a latex balloon with her nose. All that discomfort was worth it.

I am happy and grateful. There is usually a way when people say there isn't. Maybe it's not a known way, but it's there somewhere, just waiting to be discovered. All it needs sometimes is a Mum with a bee in her bonnet.

I love you Tara..