Thursday, 11 September 2014

Clubs, Meetings and such like

Yesterday is over and done with. Tara came back from school and there was no sign of any residual trauma (for her I mean) after the playground incident. I'm fine too..thanks for asking :-)

Sometimes I wonder if she hides things and suffers in secret. It is a possibility because I am like that. But unlikely. Maybe Tara is learning how to take things in her stride and focus on the positives of her school life.

The last few days are full of joining new clubs and having "very important meetings." Tara has joined the computers after school club and sewing. Nice and diverse. I had my reservations about the computers what with online chatting, cyber bullying etc. I did voice my concern to Tara's teacher who reassured me that it was all very basic and offline. Now needles flying around in the sewing club are something else, but I didn't dignify that with any further grey cells of worry.

The children are also being asked to put forward their interest in joining the School Council. Very important stuff, and Tara is thinking about it.

I have an extra hour this afternoon with the after school club. Todays is supposed to be my "easy- day", but I don't know how to....relax that is. So I guess it is a good time as any to complete some paperwork  -  shredding old statements, filing new utility bills and new statements.

Out with the old, In with the new..Looks like Autumn is here.

Wednesday, 10 September 2014

Playground bullies

You can read all the books you want, take as many deep breaths as you want to and resolve to be zen like at all times. But when you see your only little child surrounded by bullies on the school playground, it breaks your composure faster than you can imagine.

Tara has had a good week back at school. She's very proud of being a junior, and really wants to learn and make herself and her whole family proud. She was happy going to school this morning. On reaching the playground where a bunch of her classmates were playing a game, she ran eagerly to join them. She joined them and stood outside the circle they had formed, clapping along. I watched from the school gates, out of sight, and was about to leave when I did a double take. One of the kids had pushed her into the circle. They walked around her as she clasped her hands. Then they started pushing her, nudging her from one to the other as her face fell and fear fluttered across her face.

I waited anther second wondering whether I should get in there. I wanted to protect her as other teachers and parents milled around, doing nothing. I felt a lump rise in my throat as I battled in my head if I would make things worse by going in. A few seconds later Tara broke away from the group, fighting back tears, she yelled at one of the boys and went away from the group. The little monsters went back to their game clapping and singing.

I pressed against the wall not wanting Tara to see me as she would have probably been mortified had she seen me..watching her.

The whistle went..the kids lined up, as did Tara. She reluctantly smiled at another little girl, who thankfully smiled back. They had a little chat and started walking away. I left right away not wanting to see anything else. I drove back home in a bad mood, I reached home in a bad mood, I cooked in a bad mood (and I knew dinner would be a sad affair). I finished all the morning laundry, and sat down thinking about all the theories I shattered.

All my meditation, reiki and spiritual practices teach me to lean away from mental chatter and let it pass. I believe it, I practice it, but fail again and again when faced with situations like today. Then light dawned. Life will always have these situations, for Tara and for myself. The idea is to hang on to our beliefs and try again and again, no matter how many times we fail. Maybe we will keep trying and failing all our lives. But you know what? That's okay....

We will keep trying...and be better people for it. (Even if I felt a spike of pride when Tara yelled at the boy before walking away. That's my little fluffy tiger!)

Friday, 5 September 2014

You look good!

I like paying compliments...and receiving them.

But here's a rule everyone must follow should they wish to pay someone a compliment. (It sounds bossy when I say it like that, but the occasion warrants it.)

RULE: Don't qualify your compliment with an additional sentence that basically eliminates the original compliment.

For example : "You look good!"  followed by "for your age."

There's no need for the second part is there? Unless your intention is to secretly insult not to compliment.The example above is common when one usually crosses over from one insignificant decade to another. I say "insignificant" because life is lived not by the number of years you've clocked, but what you do, and how you conduct yourself in those years.

So the next time you want to insult someone, bite your tongue and be quiet instead. You will earn some Karmic brownie points that way. If your intention is to genuinely compliment someone, do just that -  and keep it short and genuine.

It takes little actions and gestures to make this world a better place.

Wednesday, 3 September 2014

Back to school

Year 3 already?

Dropping Tara off at school I quickly took her picture, to add to the thousands of others I already have. When I get time, I plan to look at the ones I took when I dropped a trembling 4 year old to school. It was hard..and not a time I want to revisit particularly. But its all a part of Tara's journey. She's still not a cocky, pushy self assured 7 year old, and I'm not terribly unhappy at that. I do feel a twinge when I see her sitting watching others in her class push and shove and be bossy to each other. I wonder if my child will survive the world out there not being the same as them.

Then I notice the gentle smile on her face as she leads a smaller new child to their correct line before she gets into her own. I realize in that moment that the world is made up of all sorts, and my Tara is a star that shines a gentle light. Up close, every star is a blazing sun... I feel Tara is fine the way she is. She is among the top of her class academically, she is sociable but selective in who she plays with. Nothing wrong with that in my opinion. Sensitive and caring, yet smart enough to find her way...I hope.

I wonder if she'd like soup for dinner this evening... 

Monday, 1 September 2014

Tara turns seven

Life is rushing by in full throttle. I'm at the wheel of Life's car...and trundling down a great big highway. Sights and sounds whizz past, I trundle on. Sometimes I want to stop, other times I go with the flow. At times I know exactly where I'm headed, other times I am directionless.

Am I happy?


Am I sad?


I've compromised some, I've stuck to my guns some. Both scenarios offered some sadness and some joy. But I have Tara in my life. All of seven, and a blessing to know and look after. Is she a product of Nature or Nurture? A bit of both I guess, like all things in life.