Real Heroes

Some people get awards, public recognition, fame, applause.

Then there are others who deserve all of the above, but hardly ever get a mention. They do what they have to do. Politics, War, Conflict etc. all kept aside, this picture speaks a thousand words. Soldiers and children.

Location : Flood rescue operation in Kashmir, India.

Black Friday

It's basically a sale...with a flashy new American name.

Personally, all the hoopla has  put me right off, and made me put a reminder to stay in, and away from the shops. Yes I will miss some "never-before" bargains. At least I won't be elbowed out of the way by my fellow humans as I reach for a pint of milk.

What is a "never-before" bargain anyway? Was my life in some way, shape or form lacking without this miracle "never-before" item? I think not..so it's a holiday from the shops for me. I occasionally will catch a glimpse on the news about Friday's mayhem...or anticipated mayhem. It may well be a damp squib.

What is true love?

Tara asked me once, "Mummy how do you know if it's true love or not true love?"

I did what I do sometimes....ask for time and say I will get back to her. She's good like that my little Tara. She doesn't insist on immediate answers. I'm good in that I always get back to her with an appropriate (in my opinion) answer as opposed to hoping she forgets about particularly awkward questions.

I also seize opportunities in conversations (again age appropriately) to educate Tara about life's realities, be it the changing body of a girl or how babies are made.

On extremely awkward subjects, on maybe one or two occasions I have been known to request a longer period of time for an accurate answer. Tara is very accepting of that. She told her Papa. If it's not meant for me to know at this age, it's okay Mummy will tell me when I am old enough. Phew....

So yesterday I came up with one definition of love.

True love is choosing HER over the whole world. True love is never having HIM make that choice.

Tara didn't get that.... After reading that again, Im not sure I got it either :-) So it's back to the drawing board. I have to come up with another in a week. Any help is appreciated. :-)

P.S. True love is when you send HIM to the shops with a very specific list, and HE actually gets the right things !!!!

Do it yourself

I wasn't feeling well yesterday and had a handful of things to get from the shops, including some medicines. The Husband was back from his "amazing" weekend in Leeds and had the warm after glow to show for it. I hesitantly asked him to get me a few things. Items required were not terribly hard to find, especially since I had written down their names and the shops they would be available at. Oh..I also took pictures of some of the labels and texted them to him to make it easier.

He came back in an hour. All three items were not what I asked for.

"If you want something done properly, do it yourself."

Ive heard that before, but don't agree with it. If that was the case, people wouldn't have so many different jobs in the world; one person would do everything in that case. It also makes complete sense to be able to rely on someone when the need arises, with the confidence that things will get done. Having to settle for something simply because you ask someone else to do it is not okay.

So what went wrong? I struggle to accept that "men will be men." Unless the whole lot of them are self centred, lazy and incompetent. The Husband never gets anything wrong when it comes to himself, then why is he so regularly wrong when it comes to the odd occasion that I ask for something? Taking for granted, not paying attention...I sense a storm brewing.....Day 30 of my "No shouting for a year" is about to come to an abrupt end.

I don't remember

Three words that are driving me nuts these days are,  I - DON"T - REMEMBER

Mum : Tara, where is your pencil case?
Tara : I don't remember

Mum : Tara, did you have your chewy multivitamin this morning?
Tara : I don't remember

Mum : Tara, can you tell me what happened after school on Friday as we walked back to the car?
Tara : I don't remember

The last question blew my fuse today. So a seven year old child has the memory of a flea. I don't mean to insult fleas. I am fairly sure that fleas don't have a very good memory.

What is going on with the "I don't know".Laziness, is the only available answer to me. When you do everything possible for your child with the intention of enabling them, sometimes you can inadvertently disable them.

Should I help Tara with her homework or not...Today she made the most basic of mistakes. All children are supposed to put their name at the top of the homework sheet. Tara forgot...alongwith putting the title of her work....and punctuation...and capitals. Am I supposed to remind her or not? I feel I should send Tara to school with 100% independently done work, whatever the quality, so she gets an idea of the real world and the sharp end of her teacher's tongue, who has incredibly high expectations from Tara. I feel cruel and upset, and The Husband is away on a weekend with his friends.

Couldn't I have waited another day to lose my temper? I feel awful for yelling at a small child, awful that I did it when her Papa is away, awful that I help her with her school work.

Let it be

Some things in life are very personal. Taste in food for example, cannot have a right or wrong. Some people like the taste of some foods, while others hate it. That doesn't make that food yum or yuck. The same applies to combinations of foods. I see food experts get very titchy when one dish is taken with another "unsuitable" one. Excuse me! It's the eaters mouth and their taste buds that matter...nothing else. Ive seen ice creams accompany the most unlikely of foods, but it doesn't bother me so much that I wax eloquent on it till the cows come home. As long as Im not being coerced to try something I don't want to, Im cool.

Clothes and fashion. Very personal. Who am I to say what someone feels good in is or is not in good taste? Now Im not talking about extreme examples like Madonna's conical top. That iconic apparel was probably created for shock and awe...and to pierce someone through the heart maybe. Liz Hurley's safety pin dress...again..not what I'm talking about. Let's say my friend's dress.  A particular garment not very visually appealing to me for whatever reason. If my opinion is not sought at the time of purchase, and if my friend is not in grave danger, or unknowingly humiliating herself,  I can exist happily in the same space as her without voicing my opinion on the garment of her choice.

Movies. I choose to remain silent on this most times. It genuinely doesn't bother me if someone likes serious meaningful cinema while others prefer light hearted fare. Just as one has the right to be extremely analytical and passionate about their cinema, another has the right to be flippant and dismissive about it. How can one be right and the other wrong? Its what a person chooses to do with their time and money. Box office collections are debated and a movie slated for being a hit even after collecting so many millions at the box office. A few critics dismiss the millions of people who chose to watch something that isn't considered cinematic enough. I wonder...who cares as long as the end viewer is getting what they want?

Why is it so hard for people to let others be?

Bonfire Night

It's Guy Fawkes day today...exactly one year since we moved into this house. It's been a great year, with wonderful memories and new beginnings.

Tara sat on my lap on the bed looking out of my bedroom window, staring wide eyed at the unexpected bonus of firework displays in the clear sky above. Slowly she turned to me and said, "Mummy, I am so happy to share this special moment with you. I love you Mummy."

Life was perfect in that one moment.

Bach Rescue Remedy

I reached for the last weapon in my anti-shouting armoury yesterday-The Bach Rescue Remedy drops....all 4 of them...drops I mean. 4 drops is the recommended dosage.

On the bottle it says to take as many times as you need. The bottle is so tiny that I could make short work of it in one swig, but I took 4 drops as advised and waited to calm down. Tic-toc-tic-toc-tic-toc. Just counting the minutes down to feeling good does some amount of work distracting the brain. But I don't think I felt any better. I did the next best thing, got away from people and situations and did some work on the computer. After a while I took another 4 drops. Still can't say if they work or not.

What I did realize is that I was not an alcohol virgin anymore. The ingredients lists a 20 something percent grape alcohol content, and on googling discovered that the taste I was sensing was like brandy. I have tasted it before in some amazing chocolate liqueurs. The Husband says that 4 drops and some chocolate don't count as alcohol drinking. Drat! I was feeling quite happy secretly. No one has stopped me from drinking, I have no problems with anyone choosing to drink, but it's just something Ive never done. Friends swear by a glass of wine or two in calming their frayed nerves sometimes. 

For me 4 drops of Bach will do. Cheers! and Hic Hic Hurray...School opens tomorrow...I have mixed feelings. Im physically tired (Oh I did fall down the stairs two days ago carrying a laundry basket, and am in incredible pain too), but a bit sad inside too at not having my hugs on tap from the loveliest daughter in the whole world. I am blessed.