Monday, 17 September 2012

Monday Morning

This morning, there is peace on earth...I mean my little piece of earth.

Tara went back to school after three mad days at home. Her cold is following the usual pattern and descending downwards towards her chest. At this point she coughs, in the mornings first, then at nights. From here it goes either ways. She fights off the virus and it's all clear, or the cough gets into her chest and we end up with antibiotics. Early days.

The Husband is very concerned about me. I have always been one to tell him everything about anything that happens in our day. Even after the full knowledge that he is working in a different place and under work pressure, I still cannot hide things from him and spare him further worry. Until a few years ago, The Husband assumed, (wrongly as most men probably do in this instance), that when a wife tells you about a problem, she is expecting a solution too. With time and experience he finally figured out that when I tell him about something that's bothering me, I'm doing just that...telling. I am not expecting anything more from him than to be a listener. No solutions, no quick fixes, no critical opinions...just listening. Things are much better since that penny dropped for him :-)

I'm working on my internal chatter too. If I tell myself many more times not to shout or be provoked into shouting it will eventually register at some level. Like a fellow Mum told me recently. "All mums shout..don't be too hard on yourself."

I need to get a life of my own, and not constantly have my thoughts occupied with Tara and what's best for her. I know that, but my reality is a bit different. Until the Husband gets a job and I have another person helping with parenting, and some security and routine in place that will allow me to take up a part time occupation, I have to maintain the status quo.

If this is how I feel, imagine how a five year old must feel not having her Papa around or having to deal  to deal with only her Mum all day and night. On a positive note it will be Friday soon, and The Husband will be home. Tara had asked if we could take her out in the dark. She's never been out late in the evening and really wants to go out after dark.

Maybe we will go out for an early dinner and a walk under the stars, weather permitting. The very picture brings a smile on my face. It's always the little things that do it...

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