Monday 18 June 2012

If only I could...

I wish..I really wish there was a way I could stop myself shouting loudly at Tara. When she pushes my buttons verbally, I try to walk away from the situation to try and calm down. But if she hits me I lose my control in less than a second and shout...I mean really shout. It reduces her to tears and she says sorry immediately, saying she will never hit again.

The peace lasts for a few weeks till she has a little moment and head butts me right in the middle of playing. The trigger is usually when we are playing rough. By rough I mean when we are laughing and throwing cushions or soft toys at each other, or running after each other playing tag. In the midst of this play, she suddenly makes a fist and lands one on me. All the playing stops suddenly and the shout emerges.

Its not a big hit, but I can't stand hitting! Maybe it's my problem, but the person ending up crying is Tara and the person ending up feeling guilty and one centimetre tall is I. It is amazing how a situation goes from laughter and playing to shouting at tears within a few seconds.

I don't know if hitting should be ignored a bit like some of the other Mums say they do. If they are right then it is I who needs to change. If hitting is simply not acceptable as i believe then obviously Tara must stop doing it. My shouting is obviously not stopping her from doing it, so there has to be another solution.

I wonder what it is?

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