Thursday, 7 June 2012

Here come the tears...again!!

I spoke to my father today. He sounded weak but in denial as usual. "The doctors fuss about nothing. I'm fine!" This followed by a raspy cough that brought tears to my eyes.

I spoke to The Husband today. There was a setback at work when the new job plan was postponed to autumn instead of spring. He attempted to sound upbeat, but I saw the weariness in his spirit. More tears filled my eyes when I was in the bathroom alone.

I spoke to Tara today. She said she was trying to be brave about school, but was finding things a bit tricky. She smiled at me, saying, "Never mind Mummy," patting my head as I placed in on her little brave chest and pulled her close. Tears welled up in my eyes.

I spoke to myself and the frightened little person inside me who hasn't forgotten about her dental visit at the end of this month to discuss something "not right" spotted in her mouth. The "me" inside was scared and trembled at the thought of seeing the dentist. There were no tears left for me today.

What does a person value most in life?

a)Health - ours and our loved ones
b) Job security - not to make millions or even thousands to stash away in the bank, but just to make ends meet and lead a respectable life

I can't think of any more things. How strange! Both those areas of my life seem to be under attack at the moment. I refuse to give up on my belief that even if the worst should happen, it is for the best (in some larger scheme of things I'm not aware of). My prayers are simple, I don't ask for specifics. I always ask to be blessed with what is good for my family and for me. If that good wears the cloak of suffering around be it.

Once the last of the tears falls out of my eyes, my vision will be clearer. I will regroup and begin again.

No comments:

Post a Comment