Saturday, 28 April 2012

That afternoon on a bench..

Sometimes the night before determines whether the following morning begins with cheery "Good Morning!" or a grumpy, "Hmmmphhh."

Tara has a cold since last week. But this one seems different. Either it's just a mild cold, or Tara's little body has grown to learn how to deal with it. Nights with a cold have been one of the greatest challenges for me, because if Tara doesn't sleep, I can't either. It would be an understatement to say that I don't function well without sleep. Lack of sleep changes me into an unrecognizable wreck. But back to Tara's cold. The last few nights she has somehow figured out how to sleep with a cold and not choke herself awake every half an hour.

I'm not sure if she's breathing through her mouth. That is something I can't do. Unlike most people I just don't know how to breathe through my mouth. Whatever the reason, Tara is sleeping better with a cold.

I was rather surprised at the number of people who told me that the first year of raising a child is the easiest, and it get tougher after that. My own experience has been the opposite. I found the first year incredibly difficult, and every 6 months just got better and better, and finally fun entered into the equation too!

I guess it depends on the definition of 'easy' for each parent. Some parents like me rate the physical aspects as difficult and the 'involvement and engagement' as easy. Other parents find dealing with the physical aspects easier than spending time engaging with the child, which I agree does increase exponentially every 6 months. No one is right or wrong. Just as every child is different and special, so is every parent.

I will never forget the words of a stranger as I sat on a bench with Tara, my emotions perhaps visible on my defeated face.

'Right now, you may not believe that you are the world's best Mum, but for your little one, there can be no better Mum than You."

That brief meeting had a lasting impact on me. Fighting agonizing physical disability, stressful emotional battles and raising a young life, had taken it's toll, and I  do believe that the stranger was an angel sent just for me. Those words came at a time when I needed them most. They taught me two important things. To reach within myself and tap into the incredible reserves already there. More importantly they taught me to reach out, beyond what I think is ego, and ask for help. I did, and help came in unparallelled numbers.

If someone out there needs to read these same words, they will. I hope you find the the same strength and courage as I did that afternoon on a bench, when a stranger reached out to me.

No comments:

Post a Comment