Wednesday 29 February 2012

Compliments

Tara wanted to know how rain came from clouds. So I explained to her in great detail how that happened. I fished for a compliment and declared, "Isn't Mummy smart?" Tara said, "No Mummy, you are as smart as a herd of mules."

"Thank you," I said, wondering if a four and a half year old could already be sarcastic, or if she was indeed impressed with mules.

I'm not fishing for compliments again, but it did get me thinking. Was I appreciative of my Mum? I don't think I ever thanked her for anything. Rolled my eyes a lot, walked out of the room a lot, and gave deep, loud sighs a lot. But never said or wrote the words 'Thank you.' With my child it seems to be the other way round. Tara does say the words 'thank you' quite frequently. Whether it is said in front of her father to impress him with her manners, or whether it comes from her heart isn't very clear. A bit of both I imagine.

I don't remember my mother sitting me down and teaching me to say thank you. She was way too busy  running her mad house with no help from anyone including her lazy children. I don't remember appreciating my Mum as a young adult when it was all about 'living my life.' I always loved her, and still do, now more than ever, especially since we are geographically further away.

Everyone needs to be appreciated. Children, grown-ups, workplace colleagues, stay at home parents, family, friends or helpful strangers. Are words important? Or do actions speak louder than words? Does it have to be one or the other? It may be a good idea to have a mix of both. Then there is no scope for confusion or misunderstanding. I will try to add some words to my actions the next time I see my Mum. I think she's earned it many times over. The 'herd of mules' compliment is already taken so I must find something to top that.

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