Sunday, 19 February 2012

Guilt vs Privilege

Tara has been ill a while now. She will turn the corner soon I'm sure. Keeping her home one more day seems to be a sensible option especially since we started her on antibiotics yesterday. The Husband, fresh after the shock of carrying Tara to hospital yesterday seems to think so.

Modern times mean that most parents have to work. It must be very difficult to send off a not-very-well child to school while a parent has to be at work. I feel guilt and privilege at the same time. Guilt that The Husband is carrying more than his fair share of work load for our family, to afford me the privilege of staying home and looking after Tara full time. It might be easier on The Husband if he works a bit less, and if I worked part time. It might also benefit us financially. We did explore that option at one stage.

Yes, there are times I wish I could run away and find relief at work. There are many other times when I shudder to think that my work would sometimes have to take precedence over Tara's needs. After a lot of discussion we decided that even if it meant us not having as many things or experiences, and The Husband working away and driving hundreds of miles every weekend to see us, me being a stay at home Mum suited our family life more.

Guilt is terrible. It takes away enjoyment from the simplest things in life. I suffer guilt unnecessarily. The Husband suffers occasional bouts of guilt when we talk on the phone, when I tell him what I've been through with Tara. We both work very hard, but the goal is common and keeps our family close.

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