Wednesday, 15 February 2012

Back to the drawing board

Tara had been chugging along with her cold and cough for a few weeks now. Last week I decided to sort her out with a few supplements and saline nasal sprays, with the hope that she would not hit rock bottom. So a week later, here we are getting ready to see a doctor this morning.

Just when I think I've made the right decision, I am sent slinking back to the drawing board to draft another theory on how to crack the eternal mystery of Tara's illness.

Once we made it to half term I hoped we were seeing the end of her cold and cough. Last evening suddenly Tara complained of pain in her knee joints. I dismissed it and carried on playing with her. Then she said the joint pain was coming and going, but her head was 'exploding' with pain. I took notice. Before I had time to compose myself she said she was freezing and made shivering movements. I ran to get Calpol and took her to bed after giving her 2 spoons of the pink stuff. She fell asleep after a while but woke up crying after about two hours, with an almighty vomit and her body so hot that it felt it was on fire. I gave her Neurofen and cooled her body down a bit. Her little body ached all night, and coughs rattled her ribs.

Little sips of water all through the night always help. Her fever eventually broke at around 3:00 am. I couldn't wait till morning arrived and I could see a doctor. He will probably send me away as it will be one of the viral fevers all around at the moment. But at least he is the expert. I cannot understand when is the right time to take Tara to the doctor. I usually end up taking her after a few weeks, when festering illness erupts into an event like last night. If I go earlier I am almost always sent back saying its 'wait and watch'. If I do stay back and 'wait and watch' I end up with a very sick child, and a bagful of guilt that I got it wrong ...again.

The first words my little one said to me when she woke up today were, "I'm sorry I didn't let you sleep all night Mummy." What can Mummy say to that. I smiled and said," It's no problem, don't worry about it." But inside my head the words sounded different...more like, I would stay awake a million years if I could, fight fire breathing dragons if I had to, climb a thousand mountains if I could figure out a way to keep you safe and well forever my little flower.

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