Friday, 11 November 2011

So far, so good..

Last night was uneventful. Thank God for that. Soon after her bedtime routine, Tara and I sat on the steps and she asked me the same questions again. I answered them again, calmly and confidently. As I saw her looking up with her wide innocent eyes into mine, I realized that every time she asked me the same old questions, there was brand new worry in her eyes. Till we have our talk. Then she relaxes and is ready for bed.

And so it happened. We hugged, talked and she got into her bed. Then....silence. She slept all night.

Putting ourselves in others shoes is not as easy as we might think sometimes. With the best of intentions and determination, I hadn't been able to find a solution to my child's fears for such a long time. I thought I had put myself in her shoes, but clearly I hadn't ... until now. I used to dread bedtime. I didn't think about Tara's agony, but of what I viewed as Tara's annoying little habit, that made me lose my temper every night. Now, I can't wait for bedtime, so I have one more chance to look into those gorgeous eyes, and talk to Tara and watch her worry melt away into sleep filled relaxed eyes.

I thought back to a few months ago when every night Tara used to wake up at the same time, crying saying, 'the monster is biting my tail.' Every night I dismissed it as a nightmare, and told her to go to sleep. It must have easily been at least a month, when I found out that Tara had threadworm. The 'monster biting her tail' was my little girl's way of saying that something was bothering her down below. I just didn't get it. Of course when I found out the cause of her suffering I turned into a Goddess with a thousand hands ready to kill every single worm that dared to cause discomfort to my daughter, and 6 back breaking weeks later, I did.

Why does it take me so long to "get it?"

In my Tara's eyes I must seem like Wonder woman, who wields some sort of power to solve all her problems. I'm just poor tired old mum, trying very hard not to fail her. 

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