Thursday, 10 November 2011

Just perfect

My own frustration sometimes makes me react wrongly to Tara. Her repeated questions about the same issue every night at bedtime is like slow torture to me, and after a promising start I end up losing my cool and telling her to be quiet and go to bed. It's obviously not a solution to the problem. Which makes me think...Is there really a problem? Or am I making one out of simple and common annoying childhood habits..

I don't think I was a particularly wonderful child at all times. Repeating what others said was a favourite pastime of mine, and why wouldn't everyone enjoy that endearing (NOT!) game? How soon we forget what we ourselves did as children.

Last evening I tried something new. I told Tara that just before bed we would sit on the steps outside her room and talk about anything she wanted to. But no talking in bed. Round one was good. We talked about her two pet peeves - lunchtime routine at school and dressing herself up between classes. That done, we got into bed, tucked up and warm. Two minutes later was Round two. Tara had a few more questions. So I calmly got up, got her out of her warm bed, and we sat on the steps to talk about the same things again. Then back in her toasty bed. After Round Three that lasted less than a minute, Tara was asleep.

This felt much better. Talking over her bed rail in the dark inevitably led to tears almost every night. I will try my new plan again tonight.

Everyone needs to talk to someone about their feelings. My daughter was trying her best to talk to me, and I ended up shouting at her every night. Not good. Like I said before, it can take me a while to get things right, but Im not perfect. Im just a Mum trying to get things right for the only thing perfect in my life...Tara

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