Wednesday, 4 January 2012

Seven days to go

So the vacation is coming to an end and we return home in a week's time. Made the huge mistake of telling Tara that today. Was it a mistake? I'm in two minds. On the one hand I should have let it go a few days more to tell her that good times here were finished. On the other hand it might have been a shock had I sprung it on her. Either ways I never win in things like this.

Bedtime began with our usual routine. Silence. Then a small , very familiar, trembling voice said, "Mummy, I dont want to go back to school....ever.." I knew that whatever I said would be wrong, so I asked her to go to sleep and we will talk later. No good. The tears began, and that familiar sick feeling crept through my heart.

My vacation finished as soon as that feeling came into my chest. I hope Tara forgets everything tomorrow and I can live in my make believe la-la land that everything was fine... for a bit longer.

Why can't Tara just look forward to going to school like all those other mums kids who apparently are chomping at the bit to get back to school? Why cant I just relax and not feel so utterly devastated when my child is afraid? Why cant I live this lovely vacation with my little Tara forever?

I know the answers to all these questions. But I still don't feel much better. I hope I can just sleep well tonight. I dont want to go back home just yet

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