Solved!

So I kept my word, and arranged a meeting with Tara's teacher after school.

I made Tara sit next to me, as I spoke to her Miss. I started off saying that Tara had been very upset over the weekend about forgetting her hat and gloves, and she didn't know how to get through the various gates from the playground, right through to the glass doors of her classroom.

As I started talking, Tara got up and pointed to other things in her class, totally disregarding my talk. I told her to sit back down while I explained her 'problem' to her teacher. She looked totally disinterested and laid back, and started to walk around her classroom - a complete contrast to the broken down child over the weekend. Her teacher said that Tara had mentioned today that she kept forgetting her hat and gloves, and the teacher had agreed to stuff them in her pocket before they went out.

So the problem was in essence, 'solved'

I was piqued. Once again, my child made me look like the crazy, over concerned MUM, while she was the good little girl who could sort everything out herself. Thank goodness I had brought along a Christmas card and box of chocolates for her teacher. This meeting looked so foolish.

Back at home, I updated Tara with my solution to her great 'problem'. I had bought an extra pair of 'emergency' hat and gloves to keep in her coat pocket in case she forgot them in class. 'Oh okay,' said my pride and joy, adding that I had better sew on some name labels on them, and she skipped away to carry on with her life.

I felt totally under-appreciated, not for the first time in my life, and then I understood the meaning of a 'thankless job'. Being a Mum is indeed a thankless job. Solving problems is just a normal part of my job description. Tara's happy. Im not supposed to ever expect a thank you, or dramatic gestures of appreciation. All I want today is a good night's sleep.

Sweet Honey

I've tried something new for Tara's cough. Its Honey. Not just any honey but Manuka Honey. The higher the number written on the label on it, the more potent it is supposed to be. I think it has helped fend off a chesty cough in about a week. I have used it along with a saline nasal spray and am pleased to report positive results!

Some argue that her cold and cough had already run their course so its not the honey or saline spray. I choose to believe it is the honey and the spray.

Floods of tears

Another thing I noticed about Tara at school, and in general is that she is an overly sensitive child who gets anxious easily. I saw other children with the same issues as Tara, but they were more laid back and did not get worked up to the extent that they stressed themselves out. But then again, all children are different.

So last night on the steps, amidst huge floods of tears Tara told me about her two new problems.

First, was the school jumper that was inside out when she took it off. She struggled to put in back on again and did not know how to 'unbundle' it.

Second was, the classroom door. Whenever she was slow to get her 'bundled' jumper and gloves and hat on, the other children and teachers were already outside in the playground, and the classroom glass door shut itself, leaving Tara alone inside, and very scared.

Inspite of telling myself not to worry about these 'small' issues, I do think these things are a big deal for a little child, just over four years old, who clings to her mother and cries for a full 45 minutes, explaining between sobs how she just can't do it.

To my credit, I held it together and stayed the course with her. I was tired, and have been unwell for the last few days. But I hugged her, heard her, and we decided on two courses of action. First I got her jumper in, and showed her how to 'unbundle' it around five to six times. She had a couple of tries herself, and I promised her we would practice till she got it. I reminded her of past successes like, learning how to put on her socks, her shirt, her pinafore, her shoes and lunch time issues...all of which she couldn't do when she was little, but was successful in doing now.

By now Tara was exhausted. She clearly needed to sleep but her mind was heavy with issues she needed to off load. She wiped her face and asked me to write a card to her teacher explaining that she struggled with the doors. I promised her I would talk to her teachers, and we would tackle the door together on Monday. As I put her in bed, she did fall asleep, maybe not stress free but totally exhausted. I couldn't do much after that either so I just went to bed right away.

We both tossed and turned last night, and Tara didn't wake up smiling this morning. Childhood is supposed to be the best time in our lives. Mine wasn't, and I'd promised myself that I would make sure my child was happy. Im a bit emotional, but will still agree that Tara is by and large a happy child. She is safe, intelligent, well provided for and has all the opportunities ahead of her. To expect plain sailing all through one's life is living in fool's paradise. I will have to teach Tara to expect hurdles in life. I will also have to teach her to jump over the hurdles, or sometimes just walk around them.

I cant be a magician and magic away problems from Tara's life, I can be Mum and teach her how to handle life.

Mum the Volunteer

Tara's been excited all of last week. Her Mum has volunteered to help out at school this afternoon.

I walked into her school at 1:30 p.m. not knowing what was expected of me, or what exactly I was supposed to do. I was met at the playground by Tara who ran into my arms screaming 'MUMMY'. She was closely followed by a few other children who were looking at me, while Tara said, 'I told you my Mummy would come....I told you' She hugged me again with pride in her eyes that I hadn't let her down. I couldn't believe that children as young as four and five were so socially sensitive.

I excused myself and explained that I had to let her teacher know I was here. Formalities done, I was assigned the task of making something artsy-craftsy for Christmas for 16 children, four at a time. I really appreciated the fact that the teacher picked Tara for the first group, and also asked her to sit next to me while I started the activity. It was a sensitive thing to do,  almost like letting the child with a birthday sit on a special throne at their birthday party.

I was pretty impressed at how I handled the kids, as was Tara who periodically came up to me for a special hug... reassurance perhaps that she was still my special girl. There were additional perks for Tara as her Mum was allowed to help her with her coat and book bags etc. I of course helped the other children too. Needless to say Tara was very pleased with the whole experience and my performance. I also think she had climbed a notch or two in the popularity charts, as some of the girls asked if they could come over to Tara's house to play.

From my point of you, I got a chance to take a peek into Tara's world, from the inside. I observed some of Tara's routines, like changing coats, tidying up and finding their way around a school playground full of noisy, boisterous but reasonably well behaved children of varying ages. I also noticed the dynamics of children's groups, the survival of the fittest, and struggles of the weak.

Im glad I went in today, and recommend that every parent does it from time to time. Its a learning experience, that's well worth the time and effort. For me, my reward was the smile and pride I saw on Tara's face as she went home with her Mum, who 'wore a nice dress and shoes.' Tara's words not mine.

All okay.....but is it?

So I went to the doctor's office with Tara and kept my fingers crossed through waves of nausea, which were probably stress related. Up to this point I have been battling one illness after the othe,r all the way from September, when Tara started school, Tara needs a break, I need a break.

The doctor switched off the lights and examined Tara's ears and heard her chest.

'No fluid in the ears, no chest infection, just a bit of redness in the ear, probably leftover from a previous ear infection that had been treated with ear drops 2 weeks ago.'

Instead of profound relief, strange feelings came over me. Wait a minute, the other doctor had said she was full of middle ear fluid, in other words glue ear. Now this one says she doesn't have it at all. I know which doctor I want to believe, but can I? Should I? Many times when we really want to hear something we tend to lean towards it, but I must keep a balanced head.

So we have the all clear to travel, but I still booked a third appointment to see a doctor on the 8th of December, 4 days before we fly. That would give me enough time to decide what I want to do.

Some might say Im over cautious, But in my opinion, a holiday that carries with it the smallest chance of my child losing her hearing is just not worth it. Im probably going to start packing, but not get too excited over it till I land safe and sound at my destination.

At the end of it all...Im deeply grateful, and would like to send out a thank you, to anything or anyone, at being granted the smallest hope that my child has been spared another ailment.