I'm feeling a bit shaky today. It's the start of Tara's school term tomorrow, and I'm feeling terribly confused and emotionally muddled.
This year we had our first Christmas at home...just the three of us, and it was wonderful. The Husband had time off for Christmas, the tree was put up, the decorations went on, presents wrapped and Santa even ate the cookies Tara left for him the night before. The excitement, the squeals of joy, the tight hugs and the smiling content faces at the end of it all made it a wonderful day.
Tara's Christmas holidays started off with her being ill for almost ten days. Soon after she got better, I went down , for the third time in the last few months with a viral illness. Im much better now but still have a bit of a residual cough and sore throat. The Husband ended up looking after Tara and I over the last two weeks.
He went back to work today. Tara gulped down tears as she watched him drive away and said she hated it when her Papa left her. I immediately distracted her and we had a bit of fun playing on the computer.
I put Tara to bed, completed all the household chores and sat restlessly in front of the television, unable to settle on any channel. Nothing looked interesting. So I turned it off came back here, to my space, to "talk". Tomorrow is the first day of Tara's school. Back to daily routine. The house feels strange without The Husband. It will feel colder tomorrow without my little one.
Post Christmas blues? I don't think so. The idea of The Husband driving across the country, every weekend to be with us for one day and then leaving the next day for a cold, lonely drive back to his work is gut wrenching, especially when I see Tara. She's growing up now, and needs both her parents close to her.
Something will give...soon.
This year we had our first Christmas at home...just the three of us, and it was wonderful. The Husband had time off for Christmas, the tree was put up, the decorations went on, presents wrapped and Santa even ate the cookies Tara left for him the night before. The excitement, the squeals of joy, the tight hugs and the smiling content faces at the end of it all made it a wonderful day.
Tara's Christmas holidays started off with her being ill for almost ten days. Soon after she got better, I went down , for the third time in the last few months with a viral illness. Im much better now but still have a bit of a residual cough and sore throat. The Husband ended up looking after Tara and I over the last two weeks.
He went back to work today. Tara gulped down tears as she watched him drive away and said she hated it when her Papa left her. I immediately distracted her and we had a bit of fun playing on the computer.
I put Tara to bed, completed all the household chores and sat restlessly in front of the television, unable to settle on any channel. Nothing looked interesting. So I turned it off came back here, to my space, to "talk". Tomorrow is the first day of Tara's school. Back to daily routine. The house feels strange without The Husband. It will feel colder tomorrow without my little one.
Post Christmas blues? I don't think so. The idea of The Husband driving across the country, every weekend to be with us for one day and then leaving the next day for a cold, lonely drive back to his work is gut wrenching, especially when I see Tara. She's growing up now, and needs both her parents close to her.
Something will give...soon.
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