It must have been 1998 or 1999, my bossy, over bearing sister loomed menacingly over me. I was unmarried, and lived with my parents. She was married and had come down for a visit. We were sitting together with my Mum and Dad.
"Well you don't have a choice!" she shrieked. "Either you get married, or get out of my parents house as you are causing too much stress to them."
I was used to my sister and her ways in my growing up years, but she had crossed a line that day. I adored my parents, I worked hard and never intentionally caused them bother. I wasn't married because I had no one to marry. I knew it was a source of tension for my mother who constantly sought out suitors for me, but she had never told me to get out of her house. I would have married someone had I liked them remotely, but I wasn't going to marry just anyone.
As I heard my sister's voice attack me, I suddenly blazed back at her. I told her she was married and in her own home, but I was at my parents place and it shouldn't bother her too much.
She continued her corrosive attack and said, it bothered her because I was causing stress to HER parents (who as it happens are my parents too). That was it, I turned to my Mum and Dad, and asked if I was a problem for them.
SILENCE
I was shocked. I asked again if they would let her speak to me this way
SILENCE.
I felt my life slipping away as I weakly said that their silence at that point meant my sister was right. They could just say a word or two that it wasn't like that.
SILENCE.
Raised in a house full of extraordinary events I never blamed my parents for things others would have easily held them accountable for. I genuinely didn't. That day, their silence shifted life as never before. I felt the panic of a helpless person. It's amazing how life gets re-written and redefined in a moment. Who you are changes. Your life choices change.
I confided in my best friend as I always did. My life, my insecurities, and now this - how my home was no longer my home. It was the biggest mistake I made. When the best friend went on to become The Husband, he knew my Achilles' heels - all of them. Here again Life could go two ways. The person who knows your weak spots could either become your shield for life, or use their knowledge of these weak spots to control you.
The Husband was a remarkable best friend, but he couldn't handle the power he wielded when he became The Husband. A loss. For him and me.
I had trial by fire most of my early life. As with most metals thrust into this fire, I could have disintegrated if I wasn't pure, or be fashioned into the strongest weapon by that fire. I was the latter. I can proudly say I was...probably still am. Just need a polish and a reminder.
"Well you don't have a choice!" she shrieked. "Either you get married, or get out of my parents house as you are causing too much stress to them."
I was used to my sister and her ways in my growing up years, but she had crossed a line that day. I adored my parents, I worked hard and never intentionally caused them bother. I wasn't married because I had no one to marry. I knew it was a source of tension for my mother who constantly sought out suitors for me, but she had never told me to get out of her house. I would have married someone had I liked them remotely, but I wasn't going to marry just anyone.
As I heard my sister's voice attack me, I suddenly blazed back at her. I told her she was married and in her own home, but I was at my parents place and it shouldn't bother her too much.
She continued her corrosive attack and said, it bothered her because I was causing stress to HER parents (who as it happens are my parents too). That was it, I turned to my Mum and Dad, and asked if I was a problem for them.
SILENCE
I was shocked. I asked again if they would let her speak to me this way
SILENCE.
I felt my life slipping away as I weakly said that their silence at that point meant my sister was right. They could just say a word or two that it wasn't like that.
SILENCE.
Raised in a house full of extraordinary events I never blamed my parents for things others would have easily held them accountable for. I genuinely didn't. That day, their silence shifted life as never before. I felt the panic of a helpless person. It's amazing how life gets re-written and redefined in a moment. Who you are changes. Your life choices change.
I confided in my best friend as I always did. My life, my insecurities, and now this - how my home was no longer my home. It was the biggest mistake I made. When the best friend went on to become The Husband, he knew my Achilles' heels - all of them. Here again Life could go two ways. The person who knows your weak spots could either become your shield for life, or use their knowledge of these weak spots to control you.
The Husband was a remarkable best friend, but he couldn't handle the power he wielded when he became The Husband. A loss. For him and me.
I had trial by fire most of my early life. As with most metals thrust into this fire, I could have disintegrated if I wasn't pure, or be fashioned into the strongest weapon by that fire. I was the latter. I can proudly say I was...probably still am. Just need a polish and a reminder.
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