The Husband usually makes it home just a little before Tara's bedtime. Father and Daughter share a light snack and read a couple of stories. In case The Husband is late, I send Tara to bed at her usual time. If I keep her up late, to spend time with her father, the next morning is usually difficult, and her school day more of an uphill climb. I do make an exception on a Friday night and maybe some Saturdays too. But it's back to her routine on Sunday.
The Husband came back from work last night, having had another stressful day. I do understand the stresses and strains of work and the kind of pressure he is under. But I still blew up at him. I'm going to try and explain the reason as best as I can.
If The Husband makes it home and has some time with Tara, he should be fully available to her in that time. That is her time. He has to make an effort when she looks at him, and be interested and involved, even if it is for 20 - 30 minutes. I know he's had hell at work, I know he's tired, and got a lot on his mind, but should we expect a four year old child to understand that? Is it fair to even expect a child to be so grown up, when all she wants to do is see her father's face light up when he sees her?
I know he is working to provide for his family. If Tara isn't around and he is, I would not ask of his time, because he needs that time to unwind. As a wife I can do that. But I think being a parent requires tremendous sacrifice. Every parent should watch a movie from 1999 called 'Life is Beautiful' by Roberto Benigni. Tragic and beautiful, it's about what lengths a parent can go to, to shelter their child from harm.
Where we are, we are fortunate to live in times of lesser troubles. We are safe, have food to eat, are healthy and getting by. We need to be grateful....and smile at our children more often. It doesn't cost a thing.
Looking back I should not have blown up at the poor man. I could have explained things a bit better. Just as I don't expect Tara to understand all her father's problems, I should also not expect The Husband to be a mind reader. Point noted for future reference.
I did apologize and we made up ;-)
The Husband came back from work last night, having had another stressful day. I do understand the stresses and strains of work and the kind of pressure he is under. But I still blew up at him. I'm going to try and explain the reason as best as I can.
If The Husband makes it home and has some time with Tara, he should be fully available to her in that time. That is her time. He has to make an effort when she looks at him, and be interested and involved, even if it is for 20 - 30 minutes. I know he's had hell at work, I know he's tired, and got a lot on his mind, but should we expect a four year old child to understand that? Is it fair to even expect a child to be so grown up, when all she wants to do is see her father's face light up when he sees her?
I know he is working to provide for his family. If Tara isn't around and he is, I would not ask of his time, because he needs that time to unwind. As a wife I can do that. But I think being a parent requires tremendous sacrifice. Every parent should watch a movie from 1999 called 'Life is Beautiful' by Roberto Benigni. Tragic and beautiful, it's about what lengths a parent can go to, to shelter their child from harm.
Where we are, we are fortunate to live in times of lesser troubles. We are safe, have food to eat, are healthy and getting by. We need to be grateful....and smile at our children more often. It doesn't cost a thing.
Looking back I should not have blown up at the poor man. I could have explained things a bit better. Just as I don't expect Tara to understand all her father's problems, I should also not expect The Husband to be a mind reader. Point noted for future reference.
I did apologize and we made up ;-)
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