Mood swings already?

The last few days Tara's moods and behaviour have been volatile. She's picture perfect at school and according to the teacher is funny and doing her work well. But as soon as she comes home, she morphs from the mythical happy child into a grumpy, teenager - the kind of person who has a grey cloud with lightening bolts over her head.

My experience with Tara is that if she is coming down with an illness she tends to be grumpier than usual a week before she actually gets ill. But its been more than a week, and she is still acting up and showing the Husband and I bad attitude. Im not used to that and am not taking it very well. Initially I tried to nip the problem in the bud by telling her that she needs to be polite and not behave that way. This ended up with Tara in a flood of tears and my mood ruined. Then I tried asking her if everything was alright or if something was bothering her, but got no result.

I'm tired now. So I've taken my father's advice of just letting her be. Im not talking as much. Not to prove a point but simply because I don't feel like it any more. Im feeling a bit hurt and disappointed with my child's behaviour towards us at home, and a bit bewildered that the same child is very good with everyone outside home. I don't really know what to do. So I will just not do anything for a while and let her be.

She's not turning into a teenager already is she? Thinking about it , Tara never had the terrible two syndrome. Or maybe it just took its time getting here...

You never know..

There is something about articles written about losing weight that make us read them. In my own experience I discovered that except for certain medical conditions, losing and maintaining weight is governed by three main factors

1. Eating the right things
2. Eating the right quantity
3. Exercise right

In short getting the input-output balance right. But every time there is a new article that boldly declares, '10 top tips for losing weight' or 'wonder foods to lose those inches', I'm right in there reading every single line. At the end of it, it all boils down to the three main points I have mentioned above.

So what am I expecting? Let's see. Im expecting a short cut, that doesn't involve hauling my backside to the gym or watching what I eat, or how much. When I'm in a particularly optimistic mood, I'm also looking for an article that says its okay to eat a whole bag of chips or a whole tub of ice cream.....a day. Or a magic pill that evaporates all the excess fat with no side effects. It never happens.

Like most things there are usually no short cuts. Time, effort, energy, determination are what it takes to get something in life. Even after knowing all this, the next time I pick up a magazine, and see someone write about "Get thin in a week", you bet I will read it, because you just never know.....

Our job

It was just another morning, waving goodbye to Tara at the school gate, I was walking back to my car along with a couple of mums. One of the ladies, who I considered the "leader of the pack", suddenly started talking about how overwhelmed she felt today, after yet another difficult evening with her three boys.

One of the other mums gave her a hug and asked her if she would like go out for a cup of tea. That was it. Those words of kindness caused a flood of tears and she started talking about how she was finding it difficult to deal with her boys over the last few days. I felt for her. Here I am analyzing and stressing over every little thing about one child, and this lady had three boys and a very busy husband who couldn't help out as much as he wanted to, because he worked very long hours.

Being a mum can sometimes be a lonely business. You can be surrounded by children and family and still feel lonely. Mums have feelings and needs that are often put on the back burner. Children always come first. And heaven forbid we do something for ourselves, or have a mini outburst at our kids, the guilt squeezes the last ounce of strength from us.

"Look out for yourself
Have a pamper day
Do what you want to do today."

All wonderful advice, but easier said than done. Being a mum is not a problem that we need to find a solution for. The love we feel for our children is all it takes to spur us on. But every once in a while we need acknowledgment for our job which has no pay or retirement age, and still is the most rewarding in the whole world

Same, same but different!

All of us have feelings. Feelings are universal, but understanding and interpreting another person's feelings, and expressing ourselves to someone else does not have the same universality. This is true of people living in different countries or of the significant other we live with - our partners/husbands/wives, whatever they are called these days..

Conflict, confusion and misunderstandings exist because although we are essentially same people,  our level of understanding and interpretation is different.

But come to think of it, this very diversity is what makes our lives so vibrant and interesting. 'Singing from the same hymn sheet' would give us all just one song to live by, and that would be mind numbingly boring.

What a treasure trove of tunes we could have in our lives if
we all sing our own song,
be heard by others,
then step back and
listen to someone else...

Its NOT the time of the month

Let me make one thing clear. Attributing everything women do or say to "The time of the month" is so passe. Having just written this I'm looking all over my keyboard for the mark to put on the 'e' in the word "passe", and cant find it...

Just to set the record straight I know there is a mark on the 'e' in the word "passe". Im not being sensitive because it is the "time of the month". I just happen to have reasonable writing skills with fairly decent understanding of grammar. By the way its not the time of the month for me..just in case anyone is interested..

Where was I....

Women are not all fuzzy, emotional, difficult to understand creatures. If we react to something in a certain way, there is usually a reason. It may not be an obvious reason, but peel away the layers and you will find a reason...usually.

a) We may be fed up having to say the same thing so many times.
b) An issue has not been resolved so it keeps popping up at the strangest of times
c) We have a lot of internal conversations in our head because sometimes others don't like to talk about things.

There are many other reasons I want to put down here but that yell from Tara can't be ignored.

In the mean time don't think she is having her time of the month if she doesn't gush over the tickets to the show next Friday night. She's probably thinking of punching you since it was the month before she had told you her parents were visiting that day, and you seemed quite happy about it too!  You should have noticed the date marked in red on the calendar, on the fridge, or the various post it notes all over the mirror. You could have at least put it on your nice phone that makes odd beeping sounds at all odd times of day or night, and reminds you about very important things, like meeting the boys after work, or when the next episode of "24" is on..

So there!

This is in no way disregarding the very real challenge of PMS in some women. It IS a condition and it IS real. It is also remarkable how many of us deal with it and not impose it on the rest of the world.